Good ole smokey jones

HAVE YOU GOT YOUR BOOTS ON COWBOY?

THIS IS A TRUE TEXAS TALE ABOUT A BIG ONE-TIME RODEO STAR! A FAMOUS BULLRIDER NAMED SMOKEYJONES! SO HOLD ON TIGHT FOR THE BULLRIDE OF YOUR LIFE! COWBOYS UP!

    IT WAS A NORMAL WARM AFTERNOON DOWN AT THE FAIRGROUNDS! AND THE FULL MOON WAS COMING UP! THE RODEO CLOWNS CIRCLED AROUND THE ARENA IN THEIR  RODEO PIC-UM-UP TRUCK… THROWING GIFTS AND SURPRIZES TO THE CROWD FOR THE CHILDREN! A BIG WHITE ROOSTER NAMED ‘CHARLIE’ WAS HANGING ONTHE HOOD ORNAMENT! UNTILL THE TRUCK BACK FIRED! AND HE FLEW OFF! IN A CLOUD OF GREEN SMOKE POURING OUT FROM UNDER THE HOOD! IN A HURRY! A GOOFY DOG IN A COWBOY HAT… JUMPED OUT! AND THRU A BUCKET OF WATER ON THE HOOD! AND A FLOP-EARED DOG PULLED OUT A WATERHOSE! AND STARTED COOLING IT DOWN! THEN A FLOCK OF WHITE DUCKS FLEW IN CIRCLING AROUND THE ARENA…  AND THE TRUCK TOOK OFF IN A HURRY! WITH THE DUCKS FOLLOWING IT! AND THEN A BIG BOOM! SHOOK THE ARENA! AND GATE NUMBER #3 SWUNG OPEN! AND OUT OF THE CHUTE CAME A MONKEY IN A COWBOY HAT! RIDING A WHITE DOG! WITH A SADDLE! HE WAS  TWIRLING A ROPE! CHASING THE TRUCK! TRYING TO ROPE A DUCK!  EVERYTIME THE TRUCK HORN HONKED! THE DOG STARTED BUCKIN’ AND JUMPIN’ WITH THE COWBOY MONKEY HANGING ON! 

     THE BIG-EARED DOG JUMPED OUT! AND THREW DOWN THE TAILGATE! THE  DUCKS JUMPED IN! AND THE PIC-EM -UP TRUCK TOOK OFF! THIS MADE THE MONKEY MAD! HE PULLED OUT A SIXGUN! AND STARTED SHOOTING! BANG! BANG! BANG! AND THEN SHOOTING THREE MORE SHOTS!  BOOM!!! BOOM!!! BOOM!!! IN A CLOUD OF BLACK SMOKE! THE BIG EARRED DOG FELL OUT OF THE TRUCK! AND WAS STUMBLING AROUND HOLDING HIS HEART!    THE MONKEY SHOT THE DOG! WHENTHE PIC-EM-UPTRUCK WAS GOIING THRU THE GATE! THERE WAS A LOT OF HOWLING! GOIN’ ON!

    “THERE’S NO BACKING OUT NOW!” SHOUTED THE ANNOUNCER!!

     “HERE IT IS FOLKS!” HE WAVED A ONE HUNDRED DOLLAR BILL AROUND IN HIS HAND! “THIS IS FOR THE BULLRIDER WHO RIDES THE BIGGEST! BADDEST! BULL IN THE BUSINESS! WHO CAN RIDE ‘ELHOBOLOCO’? WHO CAN WIN THIS HUNDRED DOLLAR BILL! FOR THE BULLRIDE OF HIS LIFE!”

    “HERE I AM! HERE I AM! SHOUTED OLESMOKEYJONES! RUNNING UP TO THE STAGE! THE CROWD ROARED! AND THE QUARTER HORSES ALL STOOD  AT ATTENTION!  GOODOLESMOKEYJONES PULLED DOWN HIS HAT LOW…  AND CLIMBED DOWN ON THAT BULL INTHE CHUTE!  ELHOBOLOCO BLEW UP! SQUEEZEEING POOROLE SMOKEY’S LEGS… SMOKEY JUMPED UP! BUT EASED BACK-DOWN ON HIS RIGGIN‘! AND HE MIDDLE-WRAPPED HIS HAND IN HIS GLOVE LIKE A BURRITO WITH A SLICE OF CHEEZE!

     ELLOCOHOBO BLEW-UP-TIGHT! KICKIN’UP DUST! AND TEARIN’ AT THE GATE THAT RED BALL OF FIRE! BURST OUT OF GATE NUMBER  #3 THREW DOWN HIS HEAD! AND JUMPED STRAIGHT-UP OFF THE GROUND! KICKING! AND WHIRLING TO THE RIGHT! SLAPPING POOROLESMOKEYJONES SQUARE IN THE FACE WITH HIS TAIL! IT SOUNDED LIKE A LOUD HARD POP! THE CROWD HOLLERED! AND SMOKEY TIGHTENED UP ON HIS RIGGIN‘! HOLDING HIS HAT WITH ONE HAND IN THE AIR! HE SPURRED THAT BADBULL HARD!  POOROLE SMOKEYJUST LEANED BACK! LIKE HE WAS AT HOME! SITTIN’ IN HIS ROCKIN’ CHAIR! HANGING ON! FOR HIS LIFE! WITH JUST HIS SPURS! AND HIS ROPE! SMOKEY WAS CROSS-EYED AND DIZZY! AND WAS TAKING A BEATING BY THAT TAIL!

   IT WAS HARD TO TELL WHO WAS BUCKIN’ WHO? AND WHO WAS SLAPPIN’ WHO? WAS HE IN HEAVEN? OR WAS HE IN HELL?  IT WAS HARD TO SAY EVEN HARDER TO TELL! BUT AS YOU WERE READING… EL HOBO WENT LOCO! AND HE BUCKED UP SO HIGH! YOU COULD SEE THE FIRE SHOOTING OUT OF HIS EYES …DRILLIN’ A HOLE IN THE DIRT below… FOR POOROLE SMOKEYxxx.  ELHOBOLOCO HAD POOROLESMOKEYJONES TWISTED UP LIKE A DUST RAG! SMOKEY WAS PRAYIN’ FOR THE BUZZER! TO BUZZ…  AND ALL FOUR HOOVES FLEW OFF THE GROUND! THAT BIG-BAD RED-BULL BUCKED POOR OLE SMOKY OFF… HIGHER THAN A KITE! EVERYBODY IN THE CROWD! STOOD UP! AND CHEERIOED! THROWING THEIR HATS HIGH INTHE AIR! GOING BANANAS!

    THAT NIGHT…POOR OLE SMOKEY JONES JUST SORTA DISAPPEARED… AND FLEW OUT OF SIGHT! WITH HIS HAT! HIS BOOTS! AND HIS ROPE!  EVERYBODY JUST STOOD THERE!  LOOKING UP! WAITIN’ FOR HIM TO COME BACK DOWN! AND FOR THE RODEO JUDGE TO JUDGE… AND SAY…“WHO WON?“ SO COMEONBACK DOWN SMOKEY! THE BAND IS PLAYING HERE! FOR FREE!  JUST IN CASE THEY DON’T HAVE CREDIT UP THERE…COME GET YOUR ONE HUNDRED BILL!

DEAR FRIENDS! HAVE YOU GOT YOUR BOOTS ON?
LET US PRAY FOR POOR OLE SMOKEY JONES!
‘HEY YA’LL!’
LOOK UP IN THE SKY!
TELL ME WHAT DO YOU SEE! 
LOOK RIGHT NEXT TO THAT BRIGHT LIGHT!
AND YA’LL WILLSEE ME!
I GOT MY HAT! I GOT MY SPURS!
 I’LL BE COMIN’ DOWN REAL SOON!
I’M UP HERE WITH MY ROPE
CHASING AFTER THAT COW
THAT JUMPED OVER THE MOON! 
BUT THE TRUTH IS…
ALL I SAW UP THERE…
WAS A LITTLE WHITE CLOUD!
THAT LOOKED LIKE A LITTLE PUFF OF SMOKE…